The Happiness Habit

People often ask me, how am I able to remain calm, happy and positive all the time, especially with so much going on, both in the world and in my personal life. My honest answer, I’m not! Well, certainly not all of time, I am human too and have my off moments, hours and sometimes days, too. Most of the time though, I tend to be on the chirper side of life, by making smaller changes, which have the biggest impact.

Just a small and personal thought on the tragedies of 22.03.2017… Do not give them the anger they want, instead focus your energies on the amazing job done by the Public and Emergency Services. Do not look at the apparent carnage, instead acknowledge the people rushing towards the unknown, to help others. Highlight the resilience of London and its citizens. They want your anger, they want your fury and they want you to focus it on anyone different from you. Don't hand them an easy victory!

A salute from the bottom of my heart to all the police, emergency services and volunteers who worked so hard to keep us safe and showed tremendous bravery in exceptionally difficult circumstances. My sincere condolences to the family of Keith Palmer, a true British Hero, who  was killed at Westminster protecting lives in our Parliament, and to all those who sadly lost their lives, injured and still fighting.

 Today, I am going to share those small changes that I have found helpful and also ones that others have shared with me, that they have found useful.

               

©      Flip your thinking. Mondays are bad and Fridays good. Really? The average life-span is 4000 weeks and a seventh of your life is spent on Mondays. Change it round. Friday is, in fact, another week closer to death, while Monday is an opportunity to make a dent in the universe.

©      Be a hugger. The average hug lasts 2.1 seconds but for the endorphins to transfer it needs to last seven seconds or longer (but be warned, counting outloud spoils the effect).

©      Say nice things about people behind their back. This is a double-whammy because when it gets back to them , people think you're a lovely person (which, of course, you are). 

©      Write a list of 10 things you really appreciate but take for granted. 'Health' and 'relationships' will almost certainly be on there.

©      Every morning, appreciate that you don't have toothache and that your kidneys are working. Being able to get out of bed is the best thing ever.

©      Write a list of the top 10 happiest moments of your life and you'll realise that most of the things on the list are 'experiences' rather than 'products'. Set your stall out to have more experiences.

©      Instead of asking your partner/kids 'how was your day?' change the words and ask (with enthusiasm), 'what was the highlight of your day?' Then listen with genuine enthusiasm.

©      Walk tall and put a smile on your face (not an inane grin or you'll scare people). Your brain will immediately think you are happy and you'll feel a whole lot better.

©      Change your aim. Stop setting your sights on 'getting through the week' or 'surviving until my next holiday'. Raise your game. Set your aim to 'enjoy the week' or 'to inspire people'.

©      Write down your top 5 personal strengths. Be aware of them and start seeing opportunities to play to them more often.

©      Watch out for the 90/10 principle. This states that 10% of your happiness depends on things that happen to you while a whopping 90% depends on how you react to these events. Make a conscious choice to be positive.

©      14 | When setbacks occur, ask yourself, where is this issue on a scale of 1 – 10 (where 10 is death). If it is death, you are allowed to feel down. Anything else, work on it.

©      Most people have an internal voice that is very critical. Challenge it. When your inner voice is telling you you're an idiot, firmly disagree. Find a positive inner voice (note, this conflict is best done in silence in your head. And if you have lots of inner voices, you need to see your GP).

©      Spend less time on electronic friends and more time with real flesh and blood ones.

©      Practice the 4-minute rule; that is, be your best self for the first 4 minutes of arriving at work, being in a meeting, getting home, etc. Your brilliance is infectious.

©      Lose the word 'try'. Instead of setting a resolution of 'I'm going to try and lose some weight' or 'I'm going to try and get a bit fitter', go with 'I'm going to lose some weight' or 'I'm going to get fitter'. Yoda was spot on when he said, 'Do or do not, there is no 'try'.'

©      Appreciate that your happiness is bigger than you. It has a ripple effect and infects people 3 degrees removed from you.

©      Reframe situations. For example, a leaking gutter means you have a house; paying tax means you have some income; your teenage son spending hours on his X-Box means he's not wandering the streets, etc.

©      Be genuinely interested in other people. Ask loads of questions about them. In a bizarre twist of quantum psychology, people will find you insanely interesting.

©      Make sure that you use more positive than negative language. The ratio needs to be about 5 positives for every negative, so catch people doing things well and tell them.

The above are some options and I am sure there are many more out. Try something new, try something different, try it today. Remember, Choice, Chance and Change; You must make the choice to take the chance if you want anything in your life to change. Make Happiness a must, make Happiness yours, make Happiness a habit.

 

Mucho Pyaar :o) x